New Year, New You...?
Between half to three-quarters of all adults make new year’s resolutions, but only 10% stick to it for longer than the first few months. We start off with so much determination and gusto but by June most of us have long forgotten the promises we’ve made to ourselves. Yet every December 31st we do it all over again. So why do we keep making them?
I admit, I am definitely one of those people who both make ‘em and break ‘em. I start off the year with a ton of optimism and am ready to make it my most successful year yet. I envision myself twelve months later with a whole new fabulous life and no worries about the future. But I’m usually over it by April and find myself just trying to keep my head above water. This year I decided I would figure out why on New Year’s in particular and what I could do to make it work this time.
Why Do We Make Resolutions On New Year’s?
I’m not talking about the history behind it. A quick google search could answer that for you. I’m talking about our individual reasons behind it. Really we could pick any day of the year to make a resolution. It doesn’t have to be on the same day every year. But people love landmark moments and rituals. It makes us feel as though we are participating with society in a positive way and gives us a sense of belonging. It’s only the third day of the whole year and I can’t even count how many times someone has asked me about my new year’s resolutions and shared their own. People seem to love the comradery that comes with this annual custom.
It is well known that fitness goals are more likely to be achieved when worked towards with a partner or in a small group. It not only provides us with support and encouragement when we need it but also a source of friendly competition that can motivate us when we’re struggling. This is the case with most goals we set for ourselves. Making New Year’s resolutions implies that we are part of a larger social group and makes us feel supported and connected to others.
Another reason might be that the end of the year tends to be a time of reflection. After all the hustle and bustle of the holidays is over and our lives quiet down a little, it is natural to spend the final week of the year in contemplation of all that has happened, good and bad. Unfortunately it is human nature to focus on the bad more than the good. As cavemen this would have been to our benefit by helping us to avoid the same mistakes over and over, but in modern times it just makes us feel crummy and generally sucks. We let the regrets from the last 12 months fill our minds and fuels a desire for change. A new year provides us with a marker to wipe the slate clean and start again.
Why Do So Many Of Us Fail?
Fail is maybe too harsh of a word. I prefer cliches like “stray from the path” because you can always get back on that path but the word fail has such a finality to it. Have you ever just given up on a resolution and not made the same one again the next year? I know I haven’t. To me that’s not a failure. So instead, let’s talk about why we stray.
It seems that most of us have the will to improve our lives and ourselves, but somehow we get stuck in this cycle of setting goals, not reaching them, and starting over again every January 1st. Why do we keep missing our goals and what can we do to fix it?
The biggest problem is that we set our sights too high. We get ourselves all worked up and excited for this better us we’ve envisioned and convince ourselves that we can make absolutely anything happen! We’re unstoppable! And that’s great! But…when we come down from that dopamine high reality hits us and suddenly we realize that goal we set is going to take a lot of work, maybe more than we can give it, and it isn’t as realistic as we once thought. Now, I am all for setting high goals and being optimistic. I am a chronic crazy goal setter. And I believe that pretty much anything can be accomplished with the right mindset and a little help from the universe. But when we set goals that are too far from where we are right now we can overwhelm ourselves. Overwhelm is never productive. It’s a great way to have your plans fall apart before you even get started. So resolution setting tip number one is setting easily reachable goals. No one said that you can’t surpass it. Have a goal to lose fifty pounds? Start with ten. Maybe you get there at the end of the year, which is amazing! But maybe you lose it in the first few months. No problem! Keep going! Renew that goal and make it another ten! Reaching those smaller goals will give you that motivation and dopamine kick to get you going towards your next one! But don’t fool yourself. If you set the resolution to Lee your kitchen clean for a week you’re really not accomplishing much are you? And when you do that, you’re only harming your own success.
Along this same line, another way we set ourselves up to fail is by making wayyy too many resolutions. Talk about pressure! How can we expect to stay on track when we are being pulled in a million directions all at once? Reaching your goals is a lot easier when you can put all your effort and focus into just one at a time. You can still make more than one resolution, but with a whole year to put a dent in it, why struggle to tackle them all at once? Why not split the year up into sections and work on one resolution for a few months before moving on to the next (if you’ve reached your goal) or adding another in (if you’re still working on it). I’ll be talking about planning your year out in an upcoming post so check back for that.
And finally, it’s all about the mindset! Maybe it’s just me (I know I can be pretty stubborn) but I would much rather do things that I choose to do rather than the ones I have to do. When it comes to resolutions, we often view them as a must do and feel ashamed when we don’t succeed or follow through. With the exception of a few serious health related cases, chances are that you will be just fine with or without completing your resolutions. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Enjoy the ride! Have fun making those improvements! And if you fall off the wagon, so what? Get back on or forget about it! If it’s still right for you then don’t give up. But things change. We change. And that means it is more than ok if you stop because that goal doesn’t matter to you anymore.
New Year’s Resolutions, The Bohemian Way
Living a bohemian lifestyle, not only do many of my resolutions revolve around embracing that but I also execute my plans in a less conventional way.
Making It Happen
Beyond my obsessive list taking and organized planning, I do incorporate a few different methods to help me with my resolutions. Along with a positive, relaxed, and optimistic attitude I also like to use some law of attraction techniques. They include acting as if, meditative visualization and affirmations. I’ll get more in depth with these things in a future post, but for now a quick summary should do.
Acting as if involves living your life like that goal has already been met. For example, if your goal is to be in great physical shape then adjust your lifestyle to match that future you by going to the gym regularly and seeing yourself as a veteran there rather than a newbie. The theory is that by acting it out and adjusting your life, the universe must adjust to match it.
Meditative visualization may sound like it would require a lot of structure, but that is definitely not necessary. As a modern bohemian, I am not a fan of too much structure. But this technique doesn’t include much. In the morning, in that moment between being awake and actually opening my eyes, I like to visualize my goals; what life will be like when I reach them, how I’ll work towards them during the day, and most importantly how it will make me feel about myself. Not only does this help me to work towards my resolutions, but it always puts me in a great mood to start the day.
The easiest out of the three is probably repeating affirmations. All you do is repeat affirming statements to yourself out loud every day. You can make your own if you wish, but there are hundreds of videos on YouTube with fantastic affirmations for almost any subject you can think of. I like to listen to mine in the shower in the morning or while I’m putting on my makeup (on the days I feel like wearing it).
All three are pretty simple, and while there isn’t much research so far on their effectiveness I have personally found them to be a helpful and positive experience, and I expect to see more and more scientific support for these in the future.
A Few Ideas To Get You Started
If one of your resolutions is to live a more bohemian lifestyle but you don’t know where to begin, I’ve included a few ideas to consider…
Take up hiking
Meditate daily
Spend more time in nature
Start an adventure journal
Eat more natural foods
Start a vegetable garden
Spend less money, make what you want and repair what you need
Take up a creative hobby
Practice daily self love
Adopt a more carefree mindset
Use and wear less mass produced products and artificial materials
And finally, one that I hope you all choose to work towards…break free from society’s standards. Discover who you really are outside of what you have been told to be and embrace that person with all of your heart. Life is meant to be enjoyed and it is too short to waste being what someone else wants you to be. Each of us is a unique and amazing creation and our individuality adds a little spice to our world.
I wish you all an incredible, successful, and joyful year ahead!
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